The Bitter and the Sweet

Goodbyes are difficult for me....always have been. I have deleted and rewritten this sentence about 10 times now. I suppose you could say that I am feeling a little confronted and for some reason the process of writing this post is bringing all my decisions, not yet manifested, a little closer to reality. Ok, here comes the salty tear rolling down my cheek followed by a sniffle. It is healthy to express this sadness, right?? It is just not that easy. 

I have made the decision to leave Mexico in order to continue my studies in the states. I am thrilled for the next chapter of my life to begin but still I am unable to close this chapter that I am still living. Everyday I spend here, since I made my decision, I find myself attempting to record every sight, sound, smell and feeling that I am experiencing in this city. Every action (por ejemplo hanging my laundry) is precious to me and my heart aches when I think about my day to day life here becoming a memory in just a few months. Mexico has been such an amazing gift to me, I feel as though I have grown tremendously under the care of her loving embrace. Oh and I will not even write about the people I will be leaving behind...I am afraid my eyes will swell with tears and this post will end. I know I will return, this city is my home away from home. Oh and por supuesto I will be back to visit as often as possible. Thanks Delta for bringing back the non-stop SLC to MX!! 

I am looking forward to reuniting with my family and getting to know my brother-in-law. It has been such a long time since I have lived in Utah and everyone is getting older (yes Eric that includes you...hehe) so it will be great to hang out with the sobrinos before they all learn to drive and leave home. 

Change is on the horizon. So far this change will be one of the more challenging for me to experience and that is a beautiful thing. It does not involve searching for the unknown nor is it an attempt to run away. It is a decision made from a healthy place created by awareness and with that awareness comes more consciousness of what is being left behind. This is where the sadness begins.